THE ENERGY FOR ALL OF ASS.
Oil prices are going to grow steadily in the near future. Nuclear power, after Japan, will be turned off, and what we are left with is just a fistful of alternative sources lke solar panels, hydroelectric dams and – well – Earth Wind & Fire, which is probably the most efficient of the three. Fortunately there are smart people with big ideas who come at our rescue. What follows might seem crazy but it’s not: it’s called FartWind, and it’s so hot that you will hear more and more about it in the future. At least until they find a way to turn down the volume.
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Dear Mr. Mut
Let me introduce myself, I’m Mr. Boollsheet the owner of a large herd of cattle in Canada, I wanted to know if your central processing of bio Fart is affordable in a size to suit the application on my Buffalo Musk, and if the same was ever tested for this application given the difference in pressure load that should endure.
I also have some questions to ask:
1 How much Kw would produce 1 Buffalo for each hour ?
2 is there a system of automatic expulsion and resettlement during the stool function ?
3 after how many fart the warranty is voided ?
4 feeding the animal with fart doping can I get more energy?
5 is this central supported by the European Community incentives?
I thank you in advance for your clarification about this huge arguments
Best Regards and Farts
Mr. Boollsheet
CEO of Musked Buffalo Corporate
Winnipeg
Canada
Dear Mr Boollsheet,
Musk Buffaloes are tame, sturdy, powerfully built, nice animals. They don’t require particular care and they are not picky on what they eat. I know of farmers feeding their buffaloes with hay, thistles, rock salt and even seaweeds. An no matter what Wall Street suggests, this is the stock of the future. Buffaloes are good farters but Musk Buffaloes are really champions in this art and their release can be heard from fart away. A Musk Buffalo can generate up to 2 Kw daily but by burning its dung you can get and extra Kw. Fartwind ® Unlimited Warranty never expires. Our technology has been severely tested on elephants, whales and pull-my-finger truck drivers. I wouldn’t suggest to dope your animals, though. In our laboratories we experienced some animals exploding from their own gases after they had a puff of marijuana. Remember: animals are supposed to eat, not smoke grass!
The European Community – you ask? They are a filthy bunch of fuckers. Germany has to sell its solar panels all over Europe and they boycotted nuclear and Fartwind only to support their own interests.
Nevertheless I wish your Musk Buffalo Enterprise to take off in the best winds and, hoping to have covered all of your questions and doubts, I send you my
Best Regards,
Carlo Muttoni
CEO Fartwind Unlimited
Dear bastard,
Let’s get to the point. In an age whe cynicism and apathy have stolen our hearts and minds, I figure that the fartwind may restore some dignity faith and trust back into our holier than though democratic, capitalist society. You see a lot of hot air is needlessly allowed to escape into our fragile ecosystem by many of those in power that we vote for I.e. Politicians and directors of our publicly owned companies. Therefore in our ever increasing need to harness our natural resources in an environmentally sympathetic way, it would make sense for our leaders to cooperate as they have propensity for the highest output per head of hot flatulent wind. May I suggest that you also work on a prototype shittherm biomachine for their other enormous output.
Let put the love back into democracy!
Mr foghead