CLUB DEVOUR
Club Devour is a revolutionary Company based in Seattle. Its founder, Margaret Whales De Soto, a 34 year-old brunette raised by her parents in the wilderness of Alaska, moved from Fairbanks to San Diego to attend University. She graduated as a Super Fast Food expert after attending the USD FSI in 2012, a foundation devoted to food studies. Then she obtained a PhD cum laude in Food Science and Concentrated Chemistry Technology at SBCD.
Miss Whales De Soto contacted Brandpowder last summer and briefly introduced herself and her Company over the phone. To be honest, we didn’t really grasp what Club Devour was all about, at first. But Miss De Soto came to our rescue: “Let’s have lunch together,” she said. “You’ll be my guests.”. Two days later she showed up at our headquarters, wearing aviation goggles. We were gobsmacked by her rather eccentric look. Was it a joke or what? Did she want to impress anyone, or was it a way to test us? “You’ll get used to it!” she said with a broad smile. “Three months a year, during the summer, I have to wear them because my eyes suffer from a rare allergy to juniper pollen.” Nobody knew what to do next, so I simply said: “Miss De Soto, we are happy and confused. Why don’t you come in?”
Margaret Whales De Soto, posing for us at the Brandpowder Headquarters (August 2022). She has been described as the perfect mix between Amelia Earhart and a Vogue top model. Try to stop a woman wearing aviation goggles, if you dare!
She took off a tiny plastic bottle from her purse. Then another one, and a few more, lining them up on the table. They were about the size of miniature liquors, the ones you usually get in hotel rooms. A post-it was attached to each mini-bottle, with codes handwritten with a feltpen. Our staff was intrigued by her look: who was this masked goddess who could swim the ocean without getting wet? She waved at everyone. “Hello, everybody! I’m Margie. Nice to meet you!” she said with a nasal voice and a beautiful smile that slightly moved the goggles upward.
“Okay,” she said, picking up one of her products. “This tiny thing will be your lunch.” She read one of the labels, then, vigorously shaking the bottle, she looked around. “Anyone fancy Hippo Sausages?”. We laughed but she didn’t. “This is 1,800Kcal in one shot, folks. It’s the fastest meal you’ll ever get in your life. And it’s totally organic. I patented this formula as Superfast Food®. Do you wanna taste it?”. She shook another minibottle. “Avocado Pork? Moose Calf Legs? Dolphin Balls? Come on folks, don’t be shy! There are 18 flavors you can pick from the menu.”
We wont dwell into the details of our lunch. We all had our super-fast shot from the tiny bottle, in the end. The first thing you feel, as soon as the creamy liquid tantalizes your taste buds, is an explosion of exotic flavors you can’t really tell apart. The tongue-blowing effect is like getting high on food. After two minutes you are full. I mean, you feel you just finished a three-day, twelwe-course wedding banquet in Kerala. But without the side effect of an Indian elephant bumping around your guts, frantically looking around for the emergency exit.
Margaret told us Club Devour will change the way we eat. And the way we live. “Consider that people spend, on average, two hours a day to feed themselves,” she said. “It’s a time-wasting activity, and this without including the time needed by your digestive system to process all the food you eat, making up for a total of four hours a day, which is one sixth of your life. Did you know 65% of the stuff you ingest turns into poop?”. We were captured by Margaret’s energy and charme. She was speaking like a door-to-door saleswoman, with religious conviction and a sharp voice. “Just imagine the time you save thanks to Club Devour,” she said. “You can dedicate four hours a day to sport, or business, or adventure. You can read a book a day, learn a new language, enjoy sex, get a Phd at University or simply relax and fill that extra time doing nothing at all.” We were conquered by Club Devour, its brilliant efficiency and performance. What follows is the result of our commitment, and two months of hard work. We developed, logo, packaging, design and a launch campaign. Margaret Whales De Soto was surprised and delighted by our creative production. “You guys are so brilliant and…fast!” she said. “No wonder!” we told her. “We didn’t have any lunch-break in the last eight weeks!”.
