SKELETONS IN THE CLOSET
Let’s admit it: we all have our skeletons in the closet! And if you agree on this simple piece of forensic, metaphoric evidence, you can’t dissent with the fact we all need a closet to store them. Would you place, for example, your skeletons in the same spot where you keep your clean underwear? Certainly not. Just imagine, one morning, asking your wife: “Honey, where are my socks?” and her saying: “try under the mandibulas!” or “dig among the pelvises!”. It would be rather embarrassing.
That’s why Brandpowder, always keen to give people a brilliant solution to improve their life, came up with something unique: the Skeleton Closet. It’s a very nice piece of furniture where you can store up to fifteen skeletons. Why fifteen? Because our Team, conducting a worldwide research, found out that’s the number of skeletons people need to hide. The Skeleton Closet is entirely handcrafted by italian artisans, out of solid planks of alpine oak. It comes with seven compartments, each door solidly connected to silver plated hinges, and completed by a precious gold-coated brass key.
Since its introduction at the Furniture World Fair, three weeks ago, Brandpowder received 15,000 orders. It’s an enthusiastic response and this is just the beginning! If everyone, in fact, has his or her own skeletons, the potential customer base is huge: about 5 billions!
Above: an image from Things Organized Neatly by Austin Radcliffe. Below: the Skeleton Closet Promo Ads developed by Brandpowder.
If you consider an adult is composed by 206 bones, it’s quite easy to make a mess. The Skeleton Closet is a tidy, clean solution to the problem.
A luxury version of the Skeleton Closet was presented by Lisa Ann (one of our designers) at the Furniture World Fair. This model (we are talking about the closet, not Lisa) is limited to 99 pieces. It comes in American Oak, with silk black lettering and a gold key. Drawers can be custom made and upholstered choosing from a wide palette of velvet colors. A conoisseur’s item, no doubt, selling at 4,750 U$.
No more creepy basements in your house! The Skeleton Closet takes the space of a standard closet. Its no-frills design makes it already a classic in metaphoric furniture.
Peter Cracker, Head of Design at Brandpowder, said the Skeleton Closet is selling handsomely among top managers, politicians, car dealers, bishops, Hollywood actors, journalists, drug smugglers and serial killers. “Killers of ideas, of course. We are talking about metaphoric figures, here. In any case, we don’t wanna know and we don’t ask our customers inopportune questions. We respect their privacy, and we love their cash.”
